All-Star Cabinet

I was intrigued by this phrase that I have been hearing on news shows. So here's my question: Does making an "All-Star Cabinet" make Obama more of a celebrity or a pragmatist? Is he doing this to heal the partisan wounds of this country, or is he trying to appease everyone and make himself out to be "The One"?

If I could choose Obama's Cabinet, here it is. (The first 3 and the last one, I'm serious about. The rest, not so serious)


Defense: General David Patraeus

He is very practical and at the beginning of his tenure as Chief Commander in Iraq appeared to not play the politics game. He sided with both proponents of the Bush Administration and its critics. Besides, he is one of the only people involved in the Iraq War with a positive approval rating.

State: President and Senator Clinton

What a better tag team than the Clintons. They both know how to play the international political game. Plus they have great relationships with most of the other world leaders. Now, you're probably thinking, "You can't have two secretaries of State," and you're right. But if you pick one Clinton, you get the other.

Treasury: Governor Mitt Romney

Mitt is a money man and knows how to spend and save a buck. I think we need some serious private sector principles of economy and thrift to help turn around this country's economy. Besides you need someone who is thoroughly convinced of the effectiveness of free-market economics otherwise we lose out in the international arena.

(This is where it started to be fun!)

Agriculture: Old McDonald

Sure, he's Old, but farmers are tough, even when they're old. Who better to lead our agriculture production than Old McDonald? Besides, who isn't going to trust produce grown with the help of Old McDonald.

Justice (Attorney General): Judge Judy

Just look at her. She serves Justice! What more can be said.

Labor: Wal-Mart

When I think of fair labor standards, equal wages, and happy working environments, I think of Wal-Mart. They can cut costs like no one else and then raise them so subtley that you don't even notice. Wouldn't the same principle apply when advocating for worker's wages??

Energy: T. Boone Pickens

What? You've never heard of T. Boone?? You've got to choose T. Boone just for his name. It won't be hard to think of a nickname for T. Boone because his name is already cool. Besides, who wouldn't want a retired-billionare-oil-executive-turned-environmentalist as The Guy in charge of our nation's energy needs and our energy future. I mean the guy changes energy schemes when it becomes popular? Who wouldn't want that??

Transportation: Ricky Bobby

Ok. So Ricky Bobby isn't a real person. But what a way to lock in the Southern vote by putting a NASCAR driver in the Presidential Cabinet. You'd win re-election for sure!

Homeland Security: Chuck Norris

C'mon, who wouldn't want Chuck Norris for their Secretary of Homeland Security. Chuck Norris will secure our homeland.

Veteran's Affairs: G.I. Joe

We need a "Real American Hero" to help take care of our Veterans. Who better than the Original "Real American Hero."

Education, Interior, & Commerce - Couldn't think of anyone. Sorry. Unless we have Chuck Norris be in charge of each of those departments as well. Chuck Norris can do it!!

Housing & Urban Development: Joe the Plumber

If this guy can fix a leaky toilet, he can fix anything? Who better to run HUD, than a plumber?

And Finally...

Health & Human Services: Little John (aka Me)

Yes, that is my Halloween costume. Don't I look good? If there were one job that I could pick as an aboslute dream job (that will probably never come true) it would be the Secretary of Health & Human Services. It would be such a great job!! Just think, to be in charge of Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, & Healthcare in America. What a job!! Besides, who wouldn't want to be in the same Presidential Cabinet as Chuck Norris!!